Posts Tagged ‘Sport’

The papers are going crazy this morning after Wayne Rooney stamped on another player’s chest during Manchester United’s Game against Aalborg last night.

Some of the papers claim that Rooney has gone back to his old ways, when he was a bit of a tough nut to crack, and happily took his frustration out on various players because he was having a bad game, or the other player said something to him – he couldn’t control his temper when he first emerged on the scene, and this latest act of violence shows that the stocky bloke in red has maybe not turned a new leaf after all.

Sir Alex Ferguson claimed that Rooney has regained his focus, and was growing up fast, but you can’t say that is the case now. His childish response to the tackle from Alborg midfielder Kasper Risgard in the middle of the pitch was reminiscent to Rooney’s painful message he sent to Portugal defender Ricardo Carvalho’s groin during the 2006 world cup.

The devil was inside him that day, and this latest assault clearly showed that the pointy tail is hidden up his shirt. He should count himself extremely lucky that the French Referee never saw it. Rooney has apparently left a large mark on the Risgard’s chest, and as reported by the BBC apologised…sort of: “That’s football, it’s a physical game,” he said.

Later in the match, he clearly swung an elbow in the direction of one of the defenders while in a wall for a free kick, and when he scraped his studs into the calf of Michael Jakobsen, and then he really should have been sent off.

The Aalborg coach was remarkably calm about the incident:

“It is not good for a fantastic footballer,” he said.

“You have to keep your head and stay calm in situations like that… but that man was a little bit frustrated.

“I was not sure during the game and I have not seen the pictures, so I cannot be 100% sure. But some of my people have seen it and said it was.”

And Alex Ferguson pointed blame at the other team for being physical: “Aalborg are not short of tackles are they?” he said. “They got stuck in and the one on Carlos was a blatant attack. Probably what saved him was that Carlos got straight up,” he said referring to the sprawling Aalborg goalkeeper.

You see these kinds of challenges a lot in today’s football. Starting a couple of seasons ago was the trend of the two footed tackle. This is insanity, and so often results in a red card, yet players still do it. It’s a physical game yes, but at the same time would you want to risk putting another player out for six months? Imagine is Rooney had broken Risgard’s ribs – he could have easily done some serious damage, and people have died in pub brawls that have less violent moments…

The football was completely rubbish last night as both the Manchester United and Arsenal games were both extraordinarily boring affairs, with little action from at the ends of each pitch. The Celtic game was a little better, and you have to feel sorry for Gary Caldwell’s unfortunate own goal right at the death.

Man United looked like they were playing for the draw, creating a useless display that none of the players should be proud of. You have to feel sorry for Ronaldo at times, as he gets the cr#p kicked out of him every time he plays. That’s the problem with talent; people let their envy get the better of them.

The Arsenal game was marginally better, if only for William Gallas’ performance, his first half mistake saw his own post rattled, and his disallowed goal was karma playing tricks on him. I don’t know how they won, and their was certainly an indication of hand ball to control the long ball that turned into the goal, but they won and now they are through to the next round.

Celtic, what can I say, not to great in Europe, never won away from home and looked unlikely to win last night, and before their goal in the 52nd minute of the game I think they were doing pretty good. After the goal was a catalogue of errors, and the equaliser made Celtic fans’ hearts sink to a new low, and when the own goal blasted into the net, you had to feel sorry for the supporters who travelled all that way to watch their team get dominated.

In other sports news, I hear Formula 1 boss Bernie Eckleston has some insane scoring ideas for the next season of the mildly popular sport. Fr years the sport involved cars going round the track with little or no overtaking for long periods of time, and everyone getting either 10,8,6,5,4,3,2,1 points according to their finishing position.

Eckleston’s mental idea involves a bronze, silver and gold medal for the top three in the race with the person with the most wins at the end of the season declared the winner – eh?

This doesn’t work in three major ways:

1. What’s the point of having silver and bronze if they have no effect on the championship?

2. Where is the incentive to get any points for any of the teams who are not in the top end of the sport?

3. The season could be over before the end much earlier if a driver won 8 of the 14 races right away.

Oh, and 3.1. What if it’s a draw?

This is a stupid idea that will hopefully never be approved, however, its Eckelston’s sport, and he can do what he likes to it.

Scotland lost last night which of course I’m gutted about, but England and Wales both won, so as far as mainland football is concerned 2 out of 3 ‘aint bad.

Sadly my predictions were way off for the England match, I said 3-1 to Germany, but the second choice team of players did good to pull the victory out of the bad – Terry must be thanking his lucky stars right now after his massive mistake to give Germany a gift of a goal. My Scotland prediction was close to the mark (1-1), and I think my team did great because they held it to a nil nil draw for 82 long minutes, which in Scottish terms is practically a win. Well done to Bellamy and Wales for sorting out the Danish and making their fry-up this morning extra special.

So, with the media having kittens about how good England are right now, do they have any chance of ever clinching world cup glory with England at this time?

I think that as far as England are concerned, this could be their time, and as a Scotsman it pains me to say that, but Capello has invigorated the team so much, and they genuinely look like they could walk away world cup winners.

It all depends on fitness and if the players want to work together effectively. Rooney spend as much time off the pitch as on it, Owen is gone forever IMO, Lampard and Gerrard clearly dislike each others playing styles, Beckham is getting a bit past it, but then you have guys like Defoe, Bent and Shawn Wright-Philips who had an exceptional games last night (definitely my pick for Man of the Match), Walcott and the rest of the new breed.

I think that they are doing well under Capello, but the English Premier League managers will only take so much of his arrogance before they tell him exactly ‘where to go’. I think Capello was out of line giving Benitez a hard time last week over the Gerrard issue, and I get the feeling other managers, like Sir Alex Ferguson or Martin O’neill could have something to say if he keeps acting like that.

Regardless, I like that they could do well in the world cup, they just need to hold it together. We’ve seen them crack under the pressure that the media heaps on them in the past, and it’ll doubtless happen again, but it’s just about focus.

Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, are in the same sort of boat. Scotland have proved they can play with the big boys, with the last couple of years showing vast improvement, and a big leap in the FIFA rankings. The problem is up front we are terrible. McFadden and Miller are Scotland’s only real goal scorers, and as they spend time on the injured list repeatedly, that means a lot of nil nil draws for the tartan army.

Wales and N. Ireland, two teams that show glimers of solid play, and have good results every so often, but I would be really surprised if they qualified for the cup. Well just have to wait and see.

My office heating has broke, so i’m freezing right now. Because my fingers are numb, the majority of my text has required some serious spell checking, so appoligies if i miss one. It’s Monday, or as I like to refer to it: An average Joe talks about how good the football was at the weekend.

Enjoyed the weekend a lot. My beloved Bolton Wanderers won their game on Saturday, with Jussi Jaaskelainen now a serious contender for goalkeeper of the year. The match was good, and I felt (mildly) sorry for Hull City, but it’s entirely fair to say that Giovanni met his match. The saves Jussi pulled off were out of this world, but his whole game presence was phenomenal. He always knows when to come for the ball, and isn’t scared to jump at someone’s feet. Great keeper.

The Manchester United versus Arsenal game was the best of the season so far. Proper end-to-end stuff, with action all over the place, and you would have bet your house on Ronaldo scoring a goal from two yards out, but he’s just not completely back on form yet. Last seasons Ronaldo would have buried it without a flinch. I’m don’t really care much for either team, so as a neutral veering slightly towards Aresenal, I was happy.

Newcastle are in trouble. Losing again on Sunday is not what the fans want to see, but it happened, and I’m really starting to believe their going down this season. However, the league is a bit unpredictable this year, just two weeks ago Bolton were bottom, now were 11th so its really, if you’ll pardon the pun, open season.

I’m playing football tonight: A bit of five-a-side action. Played last week as well, and still have the cuts and bruises too prove it (it’s apparently a friendly kick about, but it never is). Hopefully this week, I’ll score more, as I scored only a couple of times last week, and they both were entirely average goals. The first goal was a total miss-kick that I scuffed into the bottom corner, and the other one was a one-step penalty for a hand ball in the semi-circle. I actually rather spectacularly miss-hit that one too, but somehow the ball skimmed its way through the keepers legs. Fluke.

It was amazingly cold last week too, so I’m currently debating whether to wear shorts or trousers, it’s a tough call as its outdoors, and as anyone who plays football knows when a ball is smacked off of your freezing cold thigh, its one of the suckiest pains you can have – not to mention the fact that you have to instantly man-up, even though your crying inside.

I used to plan how I was going to play when I was young. I’d say to myself that “I’m going to score in the top corner on the right-hand side of the net”, and then throughout the game, I’d have that aim in my head. Tonight, as I’m older and wiser?, I’m going to aim to not get smacked on the thigh if I can help it, come away with less bruise this week, and maybe not scuff the ball badly each time I get a chance.

Have you ever though about all of the awesome things you could possibly have done in your life but haven’t yet? I mean all the things you either want to do, need to do, or have to do? We’ll as I’m having a pondering moment, I’ve decided to list my top ten ambitions (in no particular order) that I aim to achieve, preferably before I’m 30, or dead.

1. Parachute: It’s something I’ve talked about for years. I think that the feeling of free falling must be pretty cool, but if I’m honest, I’m not the greatest fan of heights, so the chances of me actually getting the courage to do it are slim to none. I reckon that to actually achieve this goal, I’d have to go up in a plane filled with water that had a shark (possibly with a fricken’ laser beam attached to its head) in a cage in the corner that would be released at 20,000 feet. It’s called the ‘jump or be eaten technique’…possibly.

2. Win the world cup as captain of Scotland: Now this one is a daft dream that is unachievable, but with Boyd out of the squad, there is room for one more…

3. Buy over Bolton Wanderers: Its football related again, but I’d love to buy over the hard-hitting Bolton squad, buy a bunch of amazing players for squillions of pounds, and take them to the top of the Premier League. Actually, scratch that, I’ve got more chance of lifting the world cup…

4. Own a Monkey: If it was cool for Michael Jackson and Ross from Friends – it’s cool enough for me.

5. Drive in a Destruction Derby: This would be awesome! I’d love to have a go at smashing other cars up, and I reckon I’d be good. I had all the top scores on the Playstation 1 game of the same name, which gives me at least a fighting chance.

6. Break the Internet: Could you imagine how funny that would be? The world would stop spinning. I heard that if you type ‘Google’ in to Google you can break the net, but to be honest, I’m too scared to try it.

7. Play a dual guitar solo with Jimi Hendrix: Now I know this is impossible, but I’m hoping that before I die, time travel will be invented and I can head back and chill with the great man himself.

8. Invent a hangover-less beer: Could you imagine if you invented this? You would genuinely become the worlds most loved person to millions, and the most hated to caffeine tablet companies. On a serious note however - with the amount of money poured – no pun intended – into beer development, a cure for this is more likely than a cure for many terminal diseases. So with the money I’d make from my hangover-less beer I’d help with number nine in my list…

9. Invent the cure for disease: So after basking in the glory of my beer-orientated invention, I’d ensure that the billions of pounds needed every year to fund cancer, aids, and various other diseases, is spent so that one day everyone can live without fear of suddenly becoming ill.  No need to thank me, thank the hangover-less beer.

10. Hit a golf ball on the moon: This would be cool. I can barely hit a ball 200 yards, but if you whack one into space it would essentially take off and not come back. You might feel a little guilty if 50 years later as Apollo 100 is about to land, and you’re well struck ball comes screaming through the window. It’d be a bit late to shout “fore!!” however, so I’ll just write it on the ball before I send it on its maiden voyage.

If like me you’ve been watching the Olympics over the past week, you’ll have been impressed by the myriad of talented athletes, in all of the disciplines.

A week before the event started in Beijing I had itchy feet and wished I was good at a sport. I had a rummage around online to find something to do, that would win me that gold medal I think I deserve…

Not normally an easy task, I agree, however, to add to the difficulty curve, I had five things to remember.

1. Whatever I decided to do needed to be relatively cheap (we’re in the midst of a credit Crisis after all)

2. Whatever I decided to do would have to involve my fianc?. (I didn’t feel like having a sleeping on the couch crisis after all)

3. And whatever I decided to do would involve not running around (were in the middle of an obesity crisis after all)

4. It needs to be something I can learn with ease. (I’m in the midst of a no-real-talent crisis after all)

5. I need to be able to easily defeat my fianc? at all costs. (a man-up crisis would have to be avoided….um….after all?)

So armed with the knowledge of all the above, I searched for days to fi…ok, I searched for hours to fi… ok, I searched for precisely 12 minutes to find if there is a sport that I can achieve all of the above.

And then I found it. In my head I created a master plan: I’d train for around the same amount of time as it takes to cook a PopTart, I’d order a super saver train ticket to London for 2012 ( if I book now, much cheapness) , and I’ll come back with a gold medal around my neck…for Archery.

Solid plan right? We’ll you’d think so. I took myself and my lady to our local archery club: a large barn in the middle of nowhere and this is where I began to realise just how much I suck at all sport.

On the way I made the school boy error of telling her how much I’ll ?kick her ass’, and that ?if I can aim at the TV with the remote, I can hit a giant board with a pointy stick’. Playing it cool was not an option.

The guy who was training us asked me right away, ?why are you here?’ I replied that I think that I’d be good, and that it always looked quite easy, to which he smiled/grimaced in a way that would terrify Freddy Krueger…

After a few minutes of showing us all the parts of a bow and arrow (plus a few more for sniggering at the words ?shaft’ and ?cock’: regular terms in archery apparently) we stepped up to the line, and my brain started doing overtime: ?this bows quite heavy,’ I said to myself, looking up at the target… ‘and that big round target that fills the TV screen at the Olympics, looks damn tiny from this massive distance’. “Exactly how far away is the target?” I asked, panicking slightly. “20 metres”, he replied, “but if you want to win the Olympics its 75″

“S##T”

My missus, takes her first shot, and hits the board (which is about 5 feet square) but not the target in the middle (about 2 foot wide), in a bout of over confidence I laugh, but inside my mind is thinking “%&*?$%$ ^%$?&^& ?$%?&)&^$”.

I let loose, all my earlier confidence shooting away with the arrow, only for it to completely miss the whole thing - even the huge backboard - and land somewhere in the back. I look toward my missus to see a cloud of smug forming over her head. Great.

This lesson lasted a full embarrassing hour. I did get better, I hit the board a few times, but my Olympic gold is far away. My fianc? however was bloody brilliant: hitting though target repeatedly, making the drive home unbearably painful, I felt like when I was six and I went to touch the hot oven, my mum said ?that’ll hurt’, but I did it anyway, and yes, it hurt like hell.

So in conclusion, I failed. And most disappointingly I failed number 5. If anything this has taught me that to win an Olympic medal, you have to be phenomenal at your chosen discipline, but if they ever start channel flicking events, I’m there.