Posts Tagged ‘Rant’

Do you ever watch TV programs for a series, get all excited about it then it goes off for its end of season break and when season two comes round you watch three episodes then wonder why you even bothered with the first one.

It happened to me most recently with Heroes. Now everyone is getting excited about the new series, but I’m not even going to give it the time of day. Yes, yes the cheerleader is great to look at, but I really can’t be bothered with the repetitive storylines and dull characters. I’ve seen X-Men, so another program about mutants does not do the trick for me.

The best example of a TV programme losing the plot (almost literally in this case) was the unfathomable: Lost. This program enthralled me for about eight episodes, but then I started to get lazy, missed an episode and lost the plot entirely. By the time the second series started, I’d lost interest completely, and that was that. As far as I know, I’m not alone with that one. I often hear people complain about its storyline being confusing. Confusing? No not really, Stupid? Yes - entirely.

I think today’s culture has a lot to blame for our disposability. I’m happy to take or leave a TV program. Perhaps it the sheer amount of choice is to blame, the fact I could (if I wanted to) record/pause live TV, and watch it back.

The truth is I have no time. I can’t fully relax to dedicate an hour of my time to watch a programme that will not do anything to me, or make a difference to my life. I enjoy the football, because something is happening live, you don’t know what could happen, and it’s the same with the internet, I have the full control. I can view anything I like, when I like, and I don’t need to wait for 12 episodes to know what happens next.

Even the internet drives me mad at times. There is so much choice that you just wish someone could point you in the right direction. I do enjoy stumble upon, but have no time to even think about sitting for hours on end (which you could using that toolbar). Digg is full of rubbish, finding the time to sift through a few thousand badly written articles, by people with a poor grasp of English is hardly a good use of my time. But I digress.

The only programmes that have had lasting appeal for me have been cartoons like The Simpson’s, Family Guy, Futurama and other 20 minute long bursts of fun.

So to those awaiting the next season of Heroes, I’ll let you into some spoilers… all through the series there will be loads of close up, dark pensive shots of the cheerleader, some dark and pensive shots of that art guy, and some dark pensive shots of the police guy, looking pensive. Powers will be used, some for good some for bad. People will die, Heroes nerds will pass out with joy, and just when you can’t take the excitement, and it’ll break for the summer. Joy.

I’m sorry average Joe readers but I’m going to have to have another rant about Amy Winehouse. I actually cannot fully describe why exactly she drives me so insane. But I’ll give it my best shot.

So I woke up today and switched on the TV, then I opened my paper while enjoying my cereal, nothing unusual about that, however…One thing that I don’t like to see is an ugly, horse-faced, heroin junkie, with stupid Marge Simpson hair, no real talent, a tacky dress sense stumbling out of a club with a fag in her droopy mouth, and a oversized London bouncer holding her up.

Now, I’ve had my fair few rough nights out, its undeniable, however I don’t think I’ve ever looked as bad as this…

It’s not really the fag in her mouth, people smoke, whatever. It’s more the grubby skin, lank hair, cheap hooker look that disturbs me. She looks terrible; I had a real effort swallowing down my Cornflakes, and I felt a bit sick. Its probably one of the best reasons to stop drinking.

Her tattoos also suck, I have tattoos, I took my time to get custom work done so it wouldn’t look terrible, but I reckon hers were drawn on by a three year old, then coloured in by a cat with a brush.

And what amazes me is that people buy her album!!!! People need to stop this nonsense, why do you need to buy it. If you really want to hear it, download it for free somewhere, so that the record company gets annoyed and drop her, and she has no money, no fame, and I can eat my breakfast in peace.

I’m sure I heard she’s locked in her contract by her label for failing to produce a new album on time, but really they should buy an old Nova, attach a balloon to the exhaust, and rev that engine for 45 minutes, that’ll give you the same excruciatingly bad album as she’s likely to produce. And don’t get me started on “super producer” Mark Ronson - Noel Gallagher of Oasis put it right when he said, “some people don’t like me, but at least I write my own songs”.

I could easily rant all day about how much this is the UK’s fault. We love a car crash, but judging by the above picture its no wonder Americans think we all have wonky teeth and bad breath. Amy, you’re in the public eye, why not use it to do some good instead of perpetuating the English stereotype.

I’m calling a halt to the rant, because I don’t like swearing, and I’m getting angry. I’ll leave you with this: If you like Amy Winhouse, you are a fool.