Apparently British men are losing our masculinity due to the fact many of us are more comfortable ironing socks than tinkering under a car bonnet.

The study by Brylcreem found that over 60 percent of young men aged between 18 and 29 are competent ironers, with a paltry ten percent unable to maintain a car and almost half unable to change a tire.

The news gets worse as the study found that 85 percent – that’s EIGHTY-FIVE PERCENT!! – are so in touch with their emotions/feminine side that they are comfortable crying in front of  others. 

We are statistically more obsessed with ourselves than any other generation, with two thirds of blokes hitting the gym to try to attain a perfect body.

James Brown, founding editor of men’s magazine, Loaded, said: “A bloke’s masculinity used to come effortlessly and his place in the world was clear cut. Nowadays, women are confident and men are confused.”  

“As men have been reacting to being told ‘how they should behave’ rather than ‘how they really are’, they’ve crossed the line from just ‘changing with the times’ to committing outright gender surrender”.

Also, to run salt in the wound, according to the survey, two thirds of women aged 18 to 29 complained that men are not masculine enough with 60% saying they’d prefer a man to take control in their relationship.  

It’s a sad truth, but it’s probably true and I know whose fault it is – David Beckham.

That’s right, I said it. If it wasn’t for him, men would still be rockin’ a middle parting and a wedge, not wearing designer clothes that go out of fashion quicker than you can afford it and they would be under the car bonnet, up to there elbow’s in grease and oil instead of straightening their hair and reading Heat magazine.

I don’t needs some study to tell me how wet us men are getting these days. Just take a look at the men’s departments in Top Man or H&M – more colours than the rainbow, V-neck sweaters and accessory stands bigger than my living room.  

It astounds me that women want their men to be more controlling. In my experience they want you to “dress nice”, “speak politely” and worst of all, “can I get a back rub” – and then like little pansy’s we are, we do it.

Men. I think it’s time to grow a set. Stop getting pushed around, your forefathers wouldn’t take it and neither should you. Next time Brylcreem do their little quiz – we’ll kick its @%#$ like its 1945.